hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize