shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
