Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
