I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Couch. On fire.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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