I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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