oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
