Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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