I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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