i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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