why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
