im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
