So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
