I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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