i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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