i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
