We won't sleep together?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
