I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
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My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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