so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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