And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
