when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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