I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
