look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
