I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
