ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
