i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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