you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
