ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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