the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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