yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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