I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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