3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well you can't waste a boner
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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