p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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