Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
