I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
