I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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