i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
