I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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