Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize