when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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