He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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