1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
