Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
