): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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