Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
