Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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