We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
