fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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