I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's get the cat blown out
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
