Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
