i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
