is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He better not be in your backpack
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
