4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
