It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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