her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
