One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
