More tranny stories later!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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