Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
