No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize