you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
