I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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