I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
